Life with PMDD

I am a woman in her mid 30’s, happily married with two school aged boys and am a teacher by profession. There are days in my life that I feel so helpless and depressed even if I know that I am loved and needed. There are even days that I feel like just ending it all up.

A few days ago, my boys watched me cry uncontrollably while laying in bed. My boys even wrote me notes that tell me they love me.  I felt ten times worse because in my heart, I wanted to jump out of bed and be normal. I love my kids and I did not want my boys seeing me that way, but what can I do?  

This feeling is so overpowering. My kids don’t know that I am already suicidal and depressed. They just know that their mommy is like this way every month and in a few hours, mommy will be back in the kitchen baking cookies like nothing ever happened. 

I know, this may just be PMS but why is it that I feel suicidal every month? I want living healthy and happy. I hate the cycle that’s why I decided to go and see my doctor. My OB diagnosed me of having PMDD.  

PMDD?  Yes, I am experiencing what is called as PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.  PMDD is a diagnosis used to indicate serious premenstrual distress with associated deterioration in functioning. It is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Symptoms occur regularly in the second half of the cycle and end when menstruation begins or shortly thereafter.

I am writing this to let you know that I am not alone in this battle over PMDD. Studies indicate that as many as 80% of women experience emotional, behavioral, or physical premenstrual symptoms and PMDD affects 3-10% of women in their reproductive years worldwide, imposing an enormous burden on women and their families.

I am taking several treatments for PMDD and part of that treatment is writing this article. You too can make a stand in battling PMDD.